Life is upside down

I lost my dad in April after my siblings and I cared for him as he began to fail a few months prior to his death. He was 91 years young when he passed. He was independent, active and very social until his body started to fail. Our lives consisted of taking care of him 24/7 and we wouldn't have wanted that any other way. When he passed each and everyone one of his kids felt a huge loss but thankful that we had him until he was 91 and had faith that he was now with our mom in heaven. Three weeks later my partner died suddenly of a stroke. We were engaged and shared our house but had never got married. We'd known each other since we were 14 years old. So, in 3 weeks I lost 2 important men. I never would have thought my life would be the way it is now. I have always lived life to the fullest but this has put me in a depression and I still feel numb. I want to be happy as I know they'd BOTH want me to be but I'm having a hard time.

 

Sounds like you lost both of your anchors in a very short time. That has to feel disorienting and that you cannot find your feet. Try to give yourself some grace and room to figure all this out. Happiness will come again later. First, in very small spurts and then someday you will realize that you are smiling again. But your loss is huge and it is going to take some time. And it will take as much time as it takes, no matter what others tell you. Blessings on your healing.

 

Thank you. I appreciate your message. Talking is what helps me. The silence at home is the hardest so I try to keep busy. I had to move and start over in every aspect & this was a lot of work but kept me busy. Winter weather, being in a house that doesn't feel like "home" & family & friends going back to their own everyday life has made me numb. I had a huge support group & knew this would subside . Therefore I need to join a group, exercise, find a hobby, anything to feel like I'm living again. As I've learned, our lives can change in an instant & I want to enjoy life and be happy.

 

I was drawn to this title because that is exactly how I feel. Life is upside down and I am struggling to find my feet. I did post a new conversation but I am new here and have no idea where that conversation is. I lost my mom in December 2017 and now I may be losing my marriage of almost a year. This is my second marriage. I feel so lost without my mom right now as I am starting a new job on Monday, which is brought all my grief flooding back in and then the issues between my husband and myself. I feel so lost and alone right now without my best friend, my mom. She was always there for me no matter what stupid thing I had gotten myself into. She would gently guide me and then sometimes she would just let me "hit the wall" and still be there to help pick me up. I am so lost as to what to do now with my failing marriage and my strong feelings of isolation, depression and darkness. I am exhausted from trying " to keep things together" with my husband and then finding out he isn't willing to work on the issues. I am devastated by all the grief and loss. I just want the pain to end so the I can get on with my life and possibly find a little bit of joy in my life. I know my mom would want that for me and I am trying but I feel I am losing the battle and I am exhausted. I am open for ideas suggestions, support for figuring out how to put my life somewhat back together.