Just this week

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Lisa West, Apr 13, 2019.

  1. Lisa West

    Lisa West New Member

    I lost my Mom. She passed away on Monday. But really the story started with my father. When I was in college almost 30 years ago, my Dad at age 47 had a massive stroke and heart attack that changed the course of our family's lives. He had so many additional heart / stroke issues throughout the years, having 2 brain surgeries and developed dementia. For the last couple of years, he started to slip away, just staring into space most of the time. It was sad, slow painful course of years for all of us. I missed the wonderful conversations he and I would have about life, as he slipped further away. He passed away on Valentine's day of this year - 7 weeks ago. My sweet Mom was his caretaker the whole time. It was a tough ride for her, of course. She had hoped that she would have a couple of years after he passed to finally enjoy life free, like her Dad had done when his wife / my grandmother died. I hope that doesn't sound callous of her; she really, truly deserved to have that time. But, alas, it wasn't in the cards. Her health had also been going downhill recently. She developed emphysema and was on oxygen. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and then not; a diagnosis of which to this day confuses me with the 'yes' and then 'no'. Her feet were purple and swollen from unknown circumstances. Well, to make a long story short, she was not able to live more than 7 weeks after my Dad.

    This has really been a long painful journey. I am still a lot in shock over the last 7 weeks. I am sorta not sure how to move on, what I should be doing to keep myself sane. Advice?
  2. Kathy Cruysen

    Kathy Cruysen New Member

    Hello Lisa, I am so very sorry for your loss, and the pain you are feeling that I know is indescribable. I too lost both my parents, just 9 weeks apart. My mother suffered a heart attack 10 years ago and throughout those years many additional health emergencies including kidney failure. I had my parents move in with me 7 years ago so that I could ensure they were ere getting the care they needed. In January she became ill with a cold and subsequently ended up in hospital ICU, fell into coma and passed away. My father who had seemed relatively healthy became what we thought depressed, not eating, etc. Two weeks later he was diagnosed with 4th stage lung and liver cancer. He spent 5 weeks in hospital, came home under palliative care. We were told 6 to 8 months and we planned on making the most of them. He passed away two weeks ago on April 3, just 9 days after coming home.

    I too feel lost, not knowing how to move forward, how to stop the pain. So here I find myself searching for someone who may be able to understand.

    I have been allowing myself to feel my grief, just couldn’t fight it. I have also been trying to do is that whenever my mind is being taken over with scenes of sadness or what I wish I had done, what I wish I had said, I am replacing with seeing them smiling or laughing. I too would appreciate any advice anyone can give us!