That the loneliness I am going through is either driving me crazy or is as bad as going through the beginning of this grief all over again. Family SO does not get it, and will not get it untill they lose a spouse or some1 very close. Mother's attitude is to just stay busy. Sounds like a great way to punish yourself. They just can not let any one see their human side. What a shame. I just don't know what to make of this. I know if I don't talk to a mental specislist, I am so screwed and the last people I would want to know is my family. I think that having to always be strong comes at a price, emotional well being? and if I or any1 goes through a lot, it will show up one way or another. I went through this once already, a nervous break-down. It is very sad and frightening.
I don't think anyone truly gets it unless they have experienced it themselves. Even then sometimes they grieve differently than we do. I am grateful for the small things that keep my mind preoccupied for a little while. But for someone to say stay busy...easier said than done when it takes everything out of you just to get out of bed in the morning. If and when you are ready to talk to a specialist that is in your hands, when you are ready for it. I know at some point i will probably have to do that too....i don't want to be a burden on my family and friends and it would be good to let this emotion out without worrying about how someone might feel about it or get certain feedback that although they are trying to help rubs me the wrong way. Please just know you aren't alone. There is so many of us hurting so much and feeling just as lost and helpless as you do. I just pray that one day we can all come out of this despair that we are feeling.
I did not want to be a burden but I see that will not happen. I have not asked to talk because of things that were said a while ago. No one has asked, "Would you like to talk?" When I did talk about it, Dad said, "Now tell me something important." I would have loved to smack him upside the noggin with a 2x4. So full of religion he has no room for kindness or compassion. I just have to start doing things I like to do and living life my way.
Some people are like that just all about "business" no feeling or emotion. I've heard a few comments that kind of made my blood boil. But i guess i just have to take it with a grain of salt not everyone is as emotional as i am. We all have to do it in our own time. I don't know when and if i will ever get over it. But i have to do it my way....
Hello TLD, I do not want to get over it but through it. I was listening to Dr. Les Carter a pyschiatrist. Pretty good, I think. He was Talking about a religious 'narcissist. I think my father Is one. If he thinks it is the truth, he will tell me and so cares not if he hurts my feelings. So effing big on The catholic church. All i ever got out of it is insulted. And he wonders why I do not go to mass?
I understand i don't think i will get over it either. My mother is kind of the same way. Not to the point of your father but she can be pretty blunt at times and not realize she is actually hurting more than helping. I know one day we will be "ok" ...we can't let these people dictate our feelings and tell us how we need to heal. We will do it....one minute at a time.
Thank you SO much for knowing what I am going through. I am SO lonely, I have gone through and going through deep grief at the same time as re- locating. An awful lot to go through. I was blamed for putting 1200 miles on my fathers car. Talked to him and told him I did not do that."Figures don't lie." On top of all that bs I got. I am so lonely and depressed. No one in the family has ever asked if I wanted to talk and when I would talk, i knew then they really don't want to hear it. Thank you very much again TLD for listening.
