I'm hair looking for support

I lost my son last year.He was only twenty three He was hit by a car he was on drugs and out of control. I tried to help him at 1 point and he kind of ran away from me and then this happened. Nobody understands what I'm going through. I wish they did. I live in a small town. We don't have grief support groups here.So I'm kind of hanging on by a thread.I just want to talk to people that understand what i'm going through

 

Hello I am guessing your name is Randel from your member name. I have experience myself as a sober alcoholic and as a family member that watched my brother struggle with drugs and alcohol and my Mom with prescription drugs. My Dad was sober in AA for 30 plus years. I know that I found help in AA and also in Al Anon where there are so many people that have lost sons, daughters and parents, friends to alcohol and drugs. try to go to a meeting in peron and reach out there. My brother used to laugh at me when I would try to help him or steer him toward getting free from the alcohol and substances. I tried and he was just lost and always said no to the help. I don't think he could ever stay sober for more than 3 months to a year in his whole life. I heard once that I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. Addiction can be like trying to stop a freight train so please do not blame yourself. It isn't your fault. I do know those gnawing thoughts "if I tried more to reach out then maybe he would have got sober and still be alive today". But I am not that powerful. I just am not. I can help if someone wants help but they have to be ready so to speak. I had a sponsor in AA say to me that he would put my hand in God's hand so this is what I pass on to you if you would like to recieve the message of hope. I know my family is with God now and they are free from the turmoil of addiction amd alcoholism. I hope healing and pray for you. xoxo Heather

 

So sorry for your loss. Another place where you can join an online grief support group is "GriefShare". some hold their meetings online and you can search for a group near you.
There are people who understand what you are going through. They are the people here who have lost children under similar circumstancesand I am one of them. The loss of our son was a result of suicide, bur I know how awful it is to unexpectedly lose someone you love so much.
Please continue to connect here where you can find support from people who know what it is to hurt deeply and people who care about you.
May God be your constant closest companion. He love you and He cares about you. Reach out to Him just by talking to Him like you do to us. He is the best listener we can find when we are hurting and He is the only one that can ease that pain and give you some understanding of what has happened to you.
Sending you love,
Chris