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I miss my Father

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Brunese Perryman, Feb 14, 2017.

  1. Brunese Perryman

    Brunese Perryman New Member

    My Dad passed away on Feb 3rd at 9am...I was helping my Mom get my Dad changed to go to the hospital I have never heard the death rattle until that morning I went and got my daughters up since they had been going to the hospital everytime my Dad had surgery or had to stay in the hospital and I ran back to my parents room as I was pulling his PJ bottoms up he did his last breath I wanted so bad to do CPR but I couldn't all I remember is seeing my daughters and I blacked out I was told I collapsed and howled...I havent cried over him really I think my soul is to numb to cry and I miss him so much I was a Daddy's girl when I was younger and he helped me raise my kids I had a amazing Dad he was so proud of his kids and grandkids...I have no one to talk to and each day I get more depressed I just can't get that day out of my mind
     
  2. Emma

    Emma New Member

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad, I too was a real daddy's girl, he taught me everything and those teachings have not only served me well practically speaking but allow me to spend time with him like it is just him and me again working on a project together, I hear his voice I see his face. I hope that never fades, it is comforting. I know that he is still here.
    I understand too when you speak about not being able to talk to anyone about it, this is actually the first time I have spoken about it, I am scared. And about re-visiting that day.
    My dad was hit head on by a speeding driver whilst on his cycle in November 2015, there wasn't one part of his poor body that hadn't been broken and he spent 10 weeks 4days fighting in intensive care before he passed away in January 2016. In this time we witnessed some pretty horrific situations but also some heartbreaking conversations with him which I treasure, but it is these horrific images which are firmly in my mind, I no longer sleep, I don't eat, every single minute of every day he is in my thoughts and I can't even begin to engage with the outside world yet, feels completely alien to me. My heart broke and our lives fell apart that day and even now it's not over we are desperately trying to get justice for my beautiful amazing dad and I cannot give up, I made a promise and I will not let him down