I lost my wife , my lover and my best friend in a flash.

November would have been 38 years of marriage. Nine years ago my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had always said , we've been through everything but aids and cancer. Bad thing to say. After a full hysterectomy and 6 rounds of Chemo, it was gone. We found out five years later. Not gone just hiding. Came back with five tumors on her liver. She had been fighting it for the last 3 and a half years. Which caused a stint to be placed in her bile line from her colon. had to have her gall bladder removed. Had part of her intestines removed and reattached. Got extremely high blood pressure. Then came the first stroke. A medium one. But it affected her speech and her right arm. Which devastated her. She is an artist with exceptional perfect beautiful handwriting, But no more. She could barely write and was having trouble communicating sometimes. Oh and was also taking medicine for depression. So her Oncologist had just taken her off chemo after two years since the cancer returned. And put her on a hormone blocker. We thought things were looking up. We knew the cancer was not going away. But she had kept it from growing. One month in using the hormone blocker and she started feeling very weak . I was having to help her in and out of the bathtub. as well as of course whatever she needed or wanted I did it or got it for her. But when we got back from Gatlinburg Sunday night the 6th of April she went straight to bed. I was staying home on Monday to take her to her Dr. appointed. To have a cancer check up. When I woke her up she started rolling around in the bed. Saying, "I've got to calm down" over and over. So I rubbed her head and back and she relaxed for about one minute. I got up to get her something to drink and she said , " It feels like something is on my chest and my arms are hurting". I said that sounds like a heart attack. Then her chest heaved up she let out three big gasps and she was gone. I had been asking if she needed to go to the hospital all weekend ,she kept saying no. So I got her in the floor stated doing cpr called 911 . The arrived and worked on her then took her to the hospital. Upon my arrival I was told she had had a massive heart attack. Which then caused a massive stroke. Which caused the right side of her brain to die. She stayed on a vent for 10 days. Then it was either a trake in her throat , which might not work. Or just let her die. She wouldn't have want to breath through a tube and be fed through another one in a bed for the rest of her life. So me and our two adult daughters stayed by her side for 17 hours until she was gone again. She died on Good Friday. Hardest decision I've ever made. I've been crying everyday since. The pain is unrelenting and unbearable. I can't fathom the thought of living here for any amount of time without my wife, my lover, my best friend, the mother of my children, essentially my everything. She was my power, my pleasure and my pain. Had to pick up her ashes today. The last 17 days have been so completely awful. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I am tormented by this nightmare. That I can't wake up from. Because it's real and I am lost and afraid and don't know how I can go on. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and for letting me know that I'm not the only one to live the horror story of watching my wife succumb to this hideous disease. We were married for 60 years and I don't know how to continue on knowing I will never again see the face or her the voice that I've seen and heard every day for all those years.

 

Im so sorry. I feel the same way. I wake up crying every morning. 40 years together and now it's just gone. I sont know how to go on.

 

My wife battled breast cancer. She had made it through chemo, surgery, radiation...things were looking good for her. A year after treatment she went in for an endo. They had seen a blip on her pancrease and wanted to rule out the cancer having come back sonewhere else. We went in 4 dats before her birthday, the day before our flight to puerto rico for a routine out patient procedure. Once in post op, they told me there was no cancer, but that they had placed a stent to help her pancreas move enzymes. She wone up in excrutiating pain, was discharged and she worsened. I took her back to the hospital, where she waited in the er for an hour and a half until she was fibally given a room.. they kept giving her pain meds to the point she coded and the revived her with narcan. The end result is that my wife passed away that night, the cause of death blood in the abdomen as a reukt of the stent placement perforationg an artery. It has been 5 weeks since she passed...ive got 3 young boys. sometimes...most of the time, it seems like its just too much. She was my world, my best friend....my person