I lost my older brother

Hello, my name is Marilyn and I loss my older brother from a motorbike accident it was sudden and a big impact on my family. losing a brother is something no one should experience but I loss my brother. losing my brother was a mess it made my family lose ourself mentally. My older brother had a baby before he died and then was born after and all of his kids my nieces and nephews are all I live for, they are my loves. if I could have one moment with him I would tell him how much I love him and how amazing he was.
I am sorry if you have lost your brother I know how deep that loss cuts because I've been through it too. Grief is hard, but you don't have to face it alone.

 

I too lost my oldest brother to a car accident. It tore our family apart and estranged my other older brother. Here 20 years later and I still find myself struggling from what could have been. Nothing has been the same or ever will be again. The older I get the worse it feels seeing what he missed. I, as well as my family, still havent learned how to cope with it. Life goes on but it just isnt the same and neither are we.

 

I aMy brother died March 16th, two weeks after I accepted a new position. The weeks leading up to his death were turmoil. I didn't know he had signed up for hospice care. I didn't know his kidneys were failing and he refused dialysis.
We talked on the phone 4x a week. The hospice topic and then POOF! it went away. I was never able to pull the truth out of him.
I received a call from his care manager he was not answering his phone. A couple weeks later he was hospitalized and end of life treatment began. I got the opportunity to talk to him one time before he died. I made travel arrangements to see him but he died before I got there.
From 2015 until his death we made up for lost time talking about family, sports, my career in the Army, movies, and work.
We became best friends. We became sounding boards. We were confidants. We were blood brothers.
He inspired me to become a Toastmaster. He was my biggest cheerleader for every speaking engagement I received.
I got him interested in comic cons. I needed his help getting some comic books autographed at a con in his town. He obliged and from that point he was HOOKED! He loved the spectacle and the whole con vibe. He could not wait for the next one.
We could make each other laugh. We shared the same love for seafood.
Now...there's a hole where he used to be. I used to call him first thing in the morning to get his feedback on my safety email I sent to a select distribution list.
I have discontinued that safety email "service ".
I have resigned from Toastmasters.
I have one more speaking engagement in Florida I committed to. After that, who knows what my future holds?
I am talking to a grief counselor. I am reading a grief book by Alan Wolfelt. I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life.
My mourning arrives in unexpected bursts. I am not sure what I am supposed to do. I have lost my parents, my sister and now brother inside of 12 years. This one hits the hardest!

 

I am very sorry to her of your loss of your dear brother. It sounds like he was many things to you. When we lost our 28 year old son to suuicide I told a counselor it felt like a hundred people had died. He said it was because Shawn was that many things to me, so I understand the depth of your pain.
May God comfort and strengthen you. Stay connected here sharing your feelings as you feel led. It helps to talk things out.
Chris

 

These are very normal feelings and valid feelings for we are not the same people we were and life is not the same and can never be the same as it was.
Yes, he is missing a lot of things but as my husband said he is also missing alot of pain from this chaotic world.
Jesus has promised us a much better place.
The way I have found to cope with it is to try to help others who are suffering the same deep pain that we have. Only someone who has suffered a great loss can really understand what that feels like and so we are able to try to comfort and help as many as we can who are also in this pain.
May God send healing in your family and strengthen you,
Chris