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I JUST WANT HIM BACK

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Tisha, Jan 18, 2023.

  1. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    My husband, best friend, the person who thought I was funny smart and beautiful is gone. I see him in my dreams, catching myself imagining I hear him. Thinking I need to ask if he wants to go out to lunch or rollover in bed to to kiss him goodnight. The grief and the physical pain I don’t know how to explain! I really am not sure I want to even be on earth anymore if it doesn’t ease up. I’ve always been strong and rational but it’s all out the window now. Just dont have any clue of being able to wake up every day like this after dreaming about him at night and imagining I see him just around the corner in the day. Sorry for rambling I’m so damn lost
     
  2. Petelor

    Petelor New Member

    I feel the same way Tisha. My husband passed unexpectedly one month ago, the grief and the physical pain is horrendous, overpowering. I too am so damn lost.
     
  3. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Im so sorry. I can only imagine how you feel. It’s so hard to explain the pain everyone thinks it’s just emotional but I feel like my body is turning on me. Can’t eat, can’t function, haven’t slept over a couple hours a night. It’s so weird (I’m sure you’ve been there) I physically hurt. Like my guts have been ripped out. Im in A cloud of smog everything is useless. Sorry…I’m over sharing…but I know we’re both in the same life crash. Thank you for reaching out.
     
  4. Petelor

    Petelor New Member

    It is physical too-I feel like I am in such pain like a knife is stuck in my heart and can't be removed. I too can't function-do not sleep-cry alot--don't care about anything -all the things we collected throughout the years mean nothing--I would gladly trade them all in for my husband Pete to be back with me. Don't worry about oversharing to me there is no such thing--life crash is exactly what it is and I always thought we would be together for so many more years. He was my soulmate. I feel for you it is a living hell. It changes your entire life and certainly not for the better.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  5. Kjun65

    Kjun65 New Member

    I sympathize and know all these feelings. I've been suffering for several yrs now and I can't stop the pain. The hurt, the emptiness. I've walked outside in the middle of the nite to scream at the top of my lungs, for lack of having anything else better to do. This is my time reaching out for any kind of support. My heart aches and my mind hurts and I don't know what to do or how to cope. In so many ways I've given up. I'm struggling to get back into life. I've been unemployed for the last 3 yrs since her death. She was my life, my everything. I just want her back.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  6. Tisha

    Tisha Member

     
  7. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    I’m so sorry. It’s a pretty scary time I’m sure. That’s how I feel so I’m sure your going through it too. I just try to say I’ve got to get through this one more day, auto repeat every day
     
  8. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    That’s what I say to everyone everyday “I just want him back!” I guess we’d all be perfect if we could find a way for that to happen. I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for three years! Your stronger than you think.
     
  9. Kjun65

    Kjun65 New Member

    I did not know whether or not u were still on this site. Thanks for the reply. I can't say I'm that strong. I used to think I might be, but not any longer. Too many nights I've curled in a ball and cried myself to sleep. I still have my Carla on 15 voice mail that I continue to listen to every few months. I still can't believe she is gone. One nite we are having the time of our lives... next wk she is flying back to PHX to close on her home which she put up for sale after moving in with me here SW of Hou, TX. Then I get a call from one of her GF that she didn't wake up after goin out with the girls. So there she is, dead from some overdose in PHX and I'm here in TX. Talk about that was a shock. As I say.. still can't reconcile. We had met in 7th grade. I remember the day like it was yest. ffw some 30 yrs and we get together thru FB...after long distance dating (yes, PHX to HOU) we got married and I drove out there to move her back over here to be with me. I never thought in a million yrs that things would fall apart like this.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  10. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Wow wait all that time then boom. My husband and I met 25 years ago that mutual friends set up without our knowing. We dated then married I feel I’ve never been without him.He was younger than me so figured I’d go before him and he hoped he would first. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in January of last year. He was never ever sick then this. He stayed so strong so I figured he’d be one of those that makes it out to 5-6 years. But November 12th he was gone. Now my mind is gone my soul crushed. If I hear one more old lady tell me well I lost mine and got over it, you will too! My normally calm self will go postal. I understand no one knows what to say I’ve been there, but don t throw out one liners for heck the of it. Maybe I’ll never get over it, maybe I’ll never be ok again, today I don’t care if I come or go. Just don’t want to do this or feel anything. I’m sure you’ve felt that maybe? I can only try. He kept telling me “Tisha you got to be strong please for me i gotta feel your gonna be ok” we’ll …I’m not