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I JUST WANT HIM BACK

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Tisha, Jan 18, 2023.

  1. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    My husband, best friend, the person who thought I was funny smart and beautiful is gone. I see him in my dreams, catching myself imagining I hear him. Thinking I need to ask if he wants to go out to lunch or rollover in bed to to kiss him goodnight. The grief and the physical pain I don’t know how to explain! I really am not sure I want to even be on earth anymore if it doesn’t ease up. I’ve always been strong and rational but it’s all out the window now. Just dont have any clue of being able to wake up every day like this after dreaming about him at night and imagining I see him just around the corner in the day. Sorry for rambling I’m so damn lost
     
    Bombu and jmtriton1 like this.
  2. Petelor

    Petelor New Member

    I feel the same way Tisha. My husband passed unexpectedly one month ago, the grief and the physical pain is horrendous, overpowering. I too am so damn lost.
     
  3. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Im so sorry. I can only imagine how you feel. It’s so hard to explain the pain everyone thinks it’s just emotional but I feel like my body is turning on me. Can’t eat, can’t function, haven’t slept over a couple hours a night. It’s so weird (I’m sure you’ve been there) I physically hurt. Like my guts have been ripped out. Im in A cloud of smog everything is useless. Sorry…I’m over sharing…but I know we’re both in the same life crash. Thank you for reaching out.
     
  4. Petelor

    Petelor New Member

    It is physical too-I feel like I am in such pain like a knife is stuck in my heart and can't be removed. I too can't function-do not sleep-cry alot--don't care about anything -all the things we collected throughout the years mean nothing--I would gladly trade them all in for my husband Pete to be back with me. Don't worry about oversharing to me there is no such thing--life crash is exactly what it is and I always thought we would be together for so many more years. He was my soulmate. I feel for you it is a living hell. It changes your entire life and certainly not for the better.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  5. Kjun65

    Kjun65 New Member

    I sympathize and know all these feelings. I've been suffering for several yrs now and I can't stop the pain. The hurt, the emptiness. I've walked outside in the middle of the nite to scream at the top of my lungs, for lack of having anything else better to do. This is my time reaching out for any kind of support. My heart aches and my mind hurts and I don't know what to do or how to cope. In so many ways I've given up. I'm struggling to get back into life. I've been unemployed for the last 3 yrs since her death. She was my life, my everything. I just want her back.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  6. Tisha

    Tisha Member

     
  7. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    I’m so sorry. It’s a pretty scary time I’m sure. That’s how I feel so I’m sure your going through it too. I just try to say I’ve got to get through this one more day, auto repeat every day
     
  8. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    That’s what I say to everyone everyday “I just want him back!” I guess we’d all be perfect if we could find a way for that to happen. I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for three years! Your stronger than you think.
     
  9. Kjun65

    Kjun65 New Member

    I did not know whether or not u were still on this site. Thanks for the reply. I can't say I'm that strong. I used to think I might be, but not any longer. Too many nights I've curled in a ball and cried myself to sleep. I still have my Carla on 15 voice mail that I continue to listen to every few months. I still can't believe she is gone. One nite we are having the time of our lives... next wk she is flying back to PHX to close on her home which she put up for sale after moving in with me here SW of Hou, TX. Then I get a call from one of her GF that she didn't wake up after goin out with the girls. So there she is, dead from some overdose in PHX and I'm here in TX. Talk about that was a shock. As I say.. still can't reconcile. We had met in 7th grade. I remember the day like it was yest. ffw some 30 yrs and we get together thru FB...after long distance dating (yes, PHX to HOU) we got married and I drove out there to move her back over here to be with me. I never thought in a million yrs that things would fall apart like this.
     
    Tisha likes this.
  10. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Wow wait all that time then boom. My husband and I met 25 years ago that mutual friends set up without our knowing. We dated then married I feel I’ve never been without him.He was younger than me so figured I’d go before him and he hoped he would first. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in January of last year. He was never ever sick then this. He stayed so strong so I figured he’d be one of those that makes it out to 5-6 years. But November 12th he was gone. Now my mind is gone my soul crushed. If I hear one more old lady tell me well I lost mine and got over it, you will too! My normally calm self will go postal. I understand no one knows what to say I’ve been there, but don t throw out one liners for heck the of it. Maybe I’ll never get over it, maybe I’ll never be ok again, today I don’t care if I come or go. Just don’t want to do this or feel anything. I’m sure you’ve felt that maybe? I can only try. He kept telling me “Tisha you got to be strong please for me i gotta feel your gonna be ok” we’ll …I’m not
     
  11. Woundedheart47

    Woundedheart47 New Member

    I’m only three months out from losing my fiancé, the love of my life. It never fails to amaze me the stupid things people say. They have no idea and there’s only so much “grace” we should be expected to give to others in our time of crisis.

    I just want to say I understand…I feel so completely broken!!
     
  12. jmtriton1

    jmtriton1 New Member

    You said what I have been trying thank you so much
     
  13. Lisatedd12

    Lisatedd12 Member

     
  14. Lisatedd12

    Lisatedd12 Member

    My husband died January 21st .I totally know how you feel he's the love of my life my bestfriend my sole mate my everything it hurts so so bad I've been crying every single day constantly since he died I feel like I can't breathe sometimes I just want him back . I've been trying everything to get him to talk to me. I just want to see his face and here his voice it's killing me every day he dosen't come home. I feel so lost and alone without him. He's knows me inside and out I can't do this much longer I miss him so so much. It's not fair we had lots more years together we were supposed to grow old together I just want him back . I'm sick and tired of people telling me that things will get better you are still young. It will never get better unless my husband comes back I don't even want to be here anymore I just want to be with him. It's torture waking up day after day with him not here. Their no more hugs no more kiss no more texting me at work saying he misses me or loves me more than anything. No more picking on my no more talks that about things that no one else knows or gets. No more trips to more anniversary no more birthdays,Thanksgiving, Christmas Easter forth of July ect. No more summers,falls ,winters spring no more anything. My life is totally over just like that. We have been married 22 in half years and 27 and a half all together since I was 24 years old and he was 27. How can he be gone just like that it's a total nightmare that I can't wake up from but all everyone says is you will get over it and it's not normal to be crying for 5 months straight. And that my father or mother or sister ect died I know how you feel. Into you lost your husband or your wife you have no idea . Sorry to go on but when I seen you're post I had to let you know that I totally understand how you feel and I'm so sorry. Lisa
     
  15. jmtriton1

    jmtriton1 New Member

    Y'all nailed it My girlfriend we knew each other in high school and reconnected later in life we started dating July 4th like 19 or 2019 and then she passed away and 2021 two beautiful years and I I don't I'm lost now I can't do nothing else.
     
  16. BobGrief2023

    BobGrief2023 Active Member

    You know what Tisha, it’s totally normal. I want my grandma coming back because she offers me and my mother a shelter from my abusive father. She passed away 3 years ago and I find here today. I want my grandma go back too. Sometimes I feel I lose the only precious thing I have.
     
  17. edsxr61

    edsxr61 Member

    As of the date of this post my wife of 52 yrs. has been gone a week. I won't give any advice since I'm not doing well myself. I have grown kids and belief in God but it's not helping a lot this soon. I hope that it does get better for you. I don't know yet how to continue on without her, but I realize that I won't see her again in this life. I hope that all of us make it through this grieving period. I am trying to honor her memory by continuing her passion for our family, friends and God. Best wishes is all I can offer to you and genuine hope you make it to a tolerable level.
     
  18. Bombu

    Bombu Member

    Tisha,
    I feel the same way; I am plagued by night time visions of my loss. It has been 10 days, and I still can’t get out of bed during the daytime. I am exhausted, and I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I want him back so badly that I often wonder whether I should still be here at all as well. You are not alone in your feelings. I’d give anything to see him again. He was my protector, my love, my best friend, my confidante, my everything. I cry all the time. My family tells me to get up and get on with things - but I am paralyzed by my grief. How can they not understand ?! I do not wish to ‘get up and get on with things’ at all. I just want him back.
    I just want the pain in my chest to subside.
    I am unemployed and currently caring for my elderly parents who have dementia and Alzheimer’s and I feel my grief is compounding. I feel I can’t be the caretaker they need right now, and that brings shame in to the equation as well. There is no escape from these emotions. They just keep pouring out of me, and I wonder if I’m not starting to loose my mind in it all.


     
  19. TxnHom2Sta

    TxnHom2Sta New Member

    I can understand everyone's pain. I lost my husband of 38 years unexpectedly in November. It's hard to believe it has been almost 3 months, because the pain is still so fresh. As many of you said, I often think I want to ask him something -- then fall apart when I realize I can't do that anymore. Today is especially hard, since it is my first Valentine's Day without him. I'm sure everyone else will understand, but I'm having trouble figuring out who I am without him -- we had so many plans together that have to change now.