I can't imagine my life without him....

Hello, fellow people suffering this immense and uniquely painful grief. My heart goes out to you all. ♡

I cant imagine never being able to talk to my partner again, to ever smile now that hes gone, or to ever find any reason to love again in my life.... besides my family, bless their hearts for being here to keep me on this earth right now.

I wonder what he was thinking when he stepped into the river and then again when he took another step, knowing he might or would definitely die. I wonder where he is now, is he at peace, if he can know how I feel, how much I love him.

Of course I wonder if I could've done anything differently, to have him still here... All these things I will always wonder. I miss him and love him beyond any language can even close to convey.

Anyone who has read this, thank yoh for witnessing my pain. In that is a silent light of healing. Blessings ♡...

 

I am sorry for your loss. Mental illness is a darkness and trial not only for the person experiencing it, but also for those who love them. I don't think we can really understand the anguish that leads someone to consider suicide. To them there is no hope left. They have sought answers from everyone and from everywhere here on this earth and have found none to save them.
Only God knows their heartache and only God loves them more than we do. I believe my son knew there was no answer here, but that there was a better place for him to attain to. I couldn't hold back the tears when I went to the chiropractor when I first lost Shawn. This doctor had never indicated to me in any way that he believed in God, but that day he said to me, "He knew where to go. You taught him." I take those words as sent from God to me for encouragement.
Jesus love for us was so great that he was willing to lay down his own life for us so we could be forgiven of all of our sins and come back into a right relationship with God. The scriptures confirm that there is a better place for us than this world offers and that God offers to allow us into His family just by our acceptance of Jesus and our love for Him.
Shawn wanted peace and he found it.
God deeply loves his creation and this includes your partner. You can trust that He always does what is best for us and that there is a greater plan than just our own being worked out here below.
Strength, comfort, and love to you,
Chris

 

Thank you Chris for your kind words. Peace to you

 

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I am mindful of your sorrow today. You are in my prayers.

~ Michael

 

Thank you so much, Michael.