I lost my husband and best friend of 12 years on September 1, 2020 to murder. Then a month later we lost my sisters fiancé to overdose then my grandpa just passed away about 4 months ago. My husband was shot in the head in our car outside of our house. I had to tell them after hours of trying to keep him alive and after 3 times of bringing him back to just let him go that he had fought hard enough. That was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I had to scrub the blood out of our car myself for hours and hours. Everyone thinks that you’re supposed to just get over it after a few months but you don’t. I don’t know that you ever get over it. I have no friends and just stay home with our kids. I have nobody that understands what I’m going through. I’m sad, angry and depressed all the time. And I feel awful for our girls because they have to deal with all of this. If you took the time to read this, thank you.