My husband took his own life in front of me two years ago. I can't believe he did it or did this to our son. I'm not looking for it wasn't your fault or you have to be here for your son and I hate it when people say it will get better. Nothing makes it better and my son just buries everything inside. I went to counseling and it made it worse. I have nightmares so does my son. My husband had depression, our son had moved to his first apartment just two weeks before his dad died. He just did it, no words, no notes, just picked up the gun and did it. He was in counselling and I thought he was better.