I lost my son 10 years ago to an accidental overdose of sleep medication. I lost my daughter 1 1/2 years ago to overdose. I hurt everyday, every minute. Needing someone to talk with who has been through what I have. Thank you.
I am so sorry you have suffered the loss of your two dear children. We lost our son to suicide in December 2000 when he was 28 years old. Losing one is hard enough-I can't imagine your loss of two of them. Let me know how you are today. I care and understand the depth of the pain and heaviness that comes with something like this. Please stay in touch. Love and hugs to you, Chris
Thank you. I appreciate it. Every day is a struggle. My daughter's overdose was not her fault or doing and still under police investigation. My son was working 3 jobs and underestimated the power of the sleep medication he took. I just miss them SO much. Nothing is the same. I have one son who lives next door to me and I cherish him everyday. How does someone accept this and move on?
You are still in the very early stages of the loss of your daughter. Just over 10 years (going into the 12th) was when I really noticed a change. I was able to function better and the pain started to space further apart in time. You may have been on the verge of beginning to get some better just when you lost your daughter. It is such a slow process of moving forward when it is the children you love so much. You asked how someone comes to accept this and move on. I can only tell you of my own experience and hope it helps you in some way: if you don't feel up to reading all of this, I understand. I know we want an easy answer, but it didn't happen that way with me...
I was completely disfunctional at first. I went to work but didn't perform my job. I still feel guilty about that. I did not really have any support. My husband didn't want to talk about what happened and still doesn't. I can understand that we all have to find a way to cope in our own way. He could not stand to see me cry, so I went in the closet when I knew that I couldn't control it. I knew in the deepest part of me if I was ever going to move forward at all, it would have to be God who helped me. I knew other people could not. So I just kept waiting on God's help to come. At first I considered suicide myself-even had a plan. But I knew that wasn't acceptable to God because I was not mentally tormented like my son had been. So I just kept hanging on-and that was all it was, hanging on by a thread. I asked God to take me because it didn't make any sense for me to be here without Shawn. He was the focus of my whole life because he was so troubled. We spent much time together. He taught me many important things such as to not be so hard on myself, to let up a little and to never question anything, even if something should happen to him, because he said all I could see was a tiny piece of a big puzzle; therefore, I had limited understanding of the whole picture of God's plan. One day I said, "Shawn, you know God can heal you." He said, "I know He can, but it is okay if He doesn't. I wouldn't change one thing in my life." I was shocked after all the mental torment and suffering he had been through that he could say that. I blamed my husband for not doing more to help Shawn.
I had a lot of forgiving to do, but Shawn helped me with that too. He said in the note he left that he had been angry hundreds of times, but he didn't have anything in his heart against anyone. I knew I would have to forgive if I wanted to see him again. These things he taught me kept me hanging on when I thought it was impossible to get through one day. I believe God gave them to me to keep me going when I thought I couln't survive one day. God gave me the strength to go on even when I didn't want to go on. As I kept pondering what I could or should have done, I realized it was my way of trying to bring my son back. If I had just done this or done that, maybe he would still be here. Very gradually the time came when my thinking wasn't constantly on Shawn and what had happened. I was very slow getting past the original pain. It felt like a huge chunk of my heart had been ripped out. You know all about that too. As time went on, I began to function again as I just kept waiting for God to help me. I just kept trusting in the Lord. He did help me. I am 20 years past this tragedy and I know it was the Lord who got me through it. I try to use all that has happened to me to help others. I am sure it is not pleasant to think that there is not much you can do to stop this pain, but I can only tell you how I began to get better because that is all I know, and hope it helps you in some small way. I care about you because I understand the heaviness and pain you are going through, Chris
I lost my 11 yr old son recently to a car accident. My world fell apart and Im filled with guilt because I feel that I could have prevented it if only I was more careful. Im barely hanging on and I been asking someone anyone to take me as well. When I lost my nephew who was like a son to me 6 years ago I thought that was the most painful that I have ever felt until I lost my son. Sorry I dont have any words of comfort just know that your not alone.
