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How not to miss them when they are so important part of my life

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Palk, Oct 31, 2020.

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  1. Palk

    Palk New Member

    I lost my father in 2000. My mother did everything after than. Untill I lost her in July 2020.
    She had shunt in heart and was terminally ill. I did take care of her in the past months. It was difficult but now that I have lost her I have lost the meaning of life.
    Feels helpless and angry that I could not save her.
    I am 30 and I live alone. There are days when I don't know why and how this happened. What should I do next. It feels bad not to think about her. And when I do think about her all I can do is cry.
    I have this wierd pain in my left chest I don't know if this is temporary or will heal with time.
     
  2. Tbstarkin

    Tbstarkin New Member

    I feel your pain i am sadly in a very similar situation. The other way round i lost my mother 20 years ago, and my dad in june. I am 44 and am living alone now. Also really strruggling to cope.
     
    NaSam likes this.
  3. CipSap55

    CipSap55 New Member

    I lost my father in 2004. My mother died at age 97 in January of 2021, in the middle of the pandemic. I was only able to see her when it was determined that death was imminent. the Assisted Living situation gave me one hour to be with her, each of the last 2 days of her life. she was already not eating or taking in any liquids, by then. I don't know how much she was aware of, but she did open her eyes when i called her " Mom" and told her that I was there. I believe she knew I was there. I was unable to make her last moments any better. She was mostly deaf. I spoke to her anyway, hoping that her soul would hear me. I had to leave her each day and it was unbearable. I got a call the following morning around 7:30 am, and she had just recently passed, within the past few minutes. Because of covid I wasn't able to stay with her hold her ,,,, I would have stayed right beside her, held her hands until the very end, but she ended up being alone. I so wanted to be there for her. she lived a long and good life. we were very close. i have so many good memories and my mother and i had a great connection...we laughed at meny things together and we understood many things in the same way.
    So she passed in January of 2021. 2 weeks earlier, I lost my paternal aunt also passed from covid. Several months later, another aunt of mine, another of my father's sisters, passed away from covid. Later that year, i received the news that a former colleague of mine, as well as 2 ex-boyfriends, from many years ago, had passed away from complications from covid. I am tired a lot, and I have not been feeling well, I have an autoimmune condition so I often feel tired and can get sick easily. I am now recovering from an upper respiratory infection and I needed antibiotica.
    Needless to say, this is a lot.
    I have a therapist, but I feel like I need more support. so here I am.
    I am glad that I connected with this group. Thank you.