How not to miss them when they are so important part of my life

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Palk, Oct 31, 2020.

  1. Palk

    Palk New Member

    I lost my father in 2000. My mother did everything after than. Untill I lost her in July 2020.
    She had shunt in heart and was terminally ill. I did take care of her in the past months. It was difficult but now that I have lost her I have lost the meaning of life.
    Feels helpless and angry that I could not save her.
    I am 30 and I live alone. There are days when I don't know why and how this happened. What should I do next. It feels bad not to think about her. And when I do think about her all I can do is cry.
    I have this wierd pain in my left chest I don't know if this is temporary or will heal with time.
  2. Tbstarkin

    Tbstarkin New Member

    I feel your pain i am sadly in a very similar situation. The other way round i lost my mother 20 years ago, and my dad in june. I am 44 and am living alone now. Also really strruggling to cope.
    NaSam likes this.
  3. CipSap55

    CipSap55 New Member

    I lost my father in 2004. My mother died at age 97 in January of 2021, in the middle of the pandemic. I was only able to see her when it was determined that death was imminent. the Assisted Living situation gave me one hour to be with her, each of the last 2 days of her life. she was already not eating or taking in any liquids, by then. I don't know how much she was aware of, but she did open her eyes when i called her " Mom" and told her that I was there. I believe she knew I was there. I was unable to make her last moments any better. She was mostly deaf. I spoke to her anyway, hoping that her soul would hear me. I had to leave her each day and it was unbearable. I got a call the following morning around 7:30 am, and she had just recently passed, within the past few minutes. Because of covid I wasn't able to stay with her hold her ,,,, I would have stayed right beside her, held her hands until the very end, but she ended up being alone. I so wanted to be there for her. she lived a long and good life. we were very close. i have so many good memories and my mother and i had a great connection...we laughed at meny things together and we understood many things in the same way.
    So she passed in January of 2021. 2 weeks earlier, I lost my paternal aunt also passed from covid. Several months later, another aunt of mine, another of my father's sisters, passed away from covid. Later that year, i received the news that a former colleague of mine, as well as 2 ex-boyfriends, from many years ago, had passed away from complications from covid. I am tired a lot, and I have not been feeling well, I have an autoimmune condition so I often feel tired and can get sick easily. I am now recovering from an upper respiratory infection and I needed antibiotica.
    Needless to say, this is a lot.
    I have a therapist, but I feel like I need more support. so here I am.
    I am glad that I connected with this group. Thank you.
  4. SepSam

    SepSam Member

    I'm sorry for your loss . I lost my mom almost 4 months ago . I'm angry ,sad, I cry all the time .I couldn't go and be with her .I couldn't held her hand ,last time that I visited her briefly was 2 years ago. It hurts , I don't know how long will it take to forgive myself.