I lost my father in 2000. My mother did everything after than. Untill I lost her in July 2020. She had shunt in heart and was terminally ill. I did take care of her in the past months. It was difficult but now that I have lost her I have lost the meaning of life. Feels helpless and angry that I could not save her. I am 30 and I live alone. There are days when I don't know why and how this happened. What should I do next. It feels bad not to think about her. And when I do think about her all I can do is cry. I have this wierd pain in my left chest I don't know if this is temporary or will heal with time.