How are you dealing!

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Bryan Sonnier, Jun 28, 2019.

  1. Bryan Sonnier

    Bryan Sonnier New Member

    Just you understand my time frame, this all started on the night the new Aquaman premiered in Dec 2018. My wife and I we're return home in separate cars sense we meet at the movies. I stopped for dinner so she was the first home. She calls says she taking my dad to the ER. Once there and talking with him. He said it feels like a hernia. CT and 2hrs later, a awesome Dr. pulled me aside letting me know his pain was because his body cavity was full of blood. 2hrs later, us following behind the ambulance and we get to a cardiac hospital. Then another 9hrs of surgery, 9hrs of watching him, 2 more hrs of surgery and.... Now I'm making a decision with my sister my stepmother on the phone to say goodbye to my dad. So on Dec 21, 2018 we said goodbye! And again on Jan 22, 2019 everyone was there to say farewell.

    And you know, I felt I was doing ok. Still had my wife and kids at home everyday. Mom called to talk all the time. I was doing...

    So here I am doing good almost 6 months later and I get a call & text from a California cop... And oh ya I live in North Carolina, and dad lived with us. The cop is telling me my stepfather found my mom not breathing and the EMTs are doing CPR. 5min later my mom is dead on Jun 13, 2019. Just 8 days shy of my dad's 6 month mark. So like most I lost my shit!

    So if you didn't notice the date of this post it's now June 28, 2019 and I'm finally home done with it all. I like to say time to move on Life goes on, but if your reading this you might be in the same situation. You know it's hard but the part that gets me everytime is when somebody ask "How are You Dealing!"
    I just want to yell at them and say how do you think I'm dealing I just lost both my parents!
  2. King

    King New Member

    Thank you for sharing about your parents and your experience with your loss. It's very difficult to feel like a person should be able to move on with life after dealing with a loss, and yet memories can come flooding back when least expected...(sorry, that is what I'm feeling anyway). Just want you to know that no matter how old we are, losing one's parents is hard and sad in it's finality. I hope for both you and I, that we can feel comfort and love in the memories. So far, pain is most prevalent for me...Hugs!
  3. Trillian

    Trillian New Member

    I definitely know what you mean. I’m not dealing either after losing my dad last week. It feels like this is never ending, like I’ll never feel anything else.

    It takes a long time. Don’t feel like you have to rush through it or do anything if you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable. Deal with the emotions as they come up and take it one day at a time.
    King likes this.
  4. Ilene

    Ilene Member

    I lost my father over 20 years ago and my mother 5 years ago. My mom helped me cope after losing my father, but now that she’s gone , I feel like I have no anchor. Instead of getting easier, the loss seems harder to endure. They were wonderful parents and made me feel safe. I’m 70 years old and feel online than ever. There is not a day that my first thoughts are of them. I am having so much trouble moving forward and just feel stuck in place...I wish so much there was a way to connect with them.