Here today, gone tomorrow...

Not quite sure why I've joined this site, or why I'm posting this. My best friend who I've known since we were kids in 1975 died unexpectedly last week. I've known a lot of death in the past few years, companion, friends, parents, close family members, and every time I've been able to cope with the grieving process and move on, but this time it's different, this time I'm really having difficulty finding perspective, we spoke on the phone about a week before he collapsed and was taken to hospital, we'd been talking about upcoming retirement and what we were planning to do, and suddenly, he's gone.

All those ideas, plans, expectations, gone. My childhood and youth, gone, he was the last person I knew from those days where I could say "hey, do you remember...?" He knew my Mom and Dad, so that link to them is also gone.

Like I say, I know the grieving and healing process, but this time I kind of have a self-destructive mindset I didn't have before where absolutely nothing matters any more. I can't take time off work, but at the same time I am totally disengaged from it and it risks blowing up in my face, but somehow, I just don't care.......

 

So sorry to hear this. Hopefully you can find support from this group