Im 32. I lost my mom february 2022. She was my absolute best friend. I have agoraphobia and lived with her my whole life stuck in the house. I have so much anger and hurt. Anger that her son did heroin for years while she was sick and yet all she cared about was his safety. Anger that i held her hand singing to her whole she passed while he shot up in the other room. Anger that I didnt have more time w her. Anger that everyone seems to have forgotten her. Amger that i didnt get better before she passed. I suffer from anxiety and depression and living alone is so hard for me. Everyday im just waiting to go to bed. Hoping the next day is better and it's not. Most days im so anxious and depressed I cant even shower or clean my house. Im so hurt and all i want is a hug and someone to rub my back and let me cry and not be okay but i have no one. I miss her so much. She was my world. My mom and my best friend. She was my everything. How do you deal??? Im not dealing well. My heart is so destroyed without her. I took care of her at home til she passed and those memories are always at the front of my mind. Help. -hopeless
Please see a counselor or grief specialist. Google grief groups in your area- please go, it will help. I lost my mom in January- we were all each other had and it is so hard, but you will get through it. Grief is a journey, it's a part of life and the Creator knew we would experience great love AND great loss. I am sorry but things will get better over time. Please look at going to see someone or joining a group. It will help.
