Hi, everyone. I tried to write a coherent and well thought out post explaining everything, but it was just too much to keep writing. I found out my grandmother died two days ago. I haven't seen her in 6 years due to a very complicated, dysfunctional family situation. Just a few weeks ago, I was trying to plan to see her again, and even sooner than that I was talking with my mom about how I missed her, and how she was the only grandparent of mine who ever truly cared about me, who I felt close to at all, and who really influenced my life in a positive way. I've been haunted by the memory of my father standing in my doorway, crying and telling me. I'm very new to loss. I didn't know it was possible to hurt this bad. I don't know how else to explain it other than I feel haunted. I know it will get better, but it really does hurt right now. Thank you for listening. Anyone is free to reach out to me and talk.
