Finding a new normal

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by SomeDisplayName, Sep 21, 2020.

  1. This is my first post to this support group, so pardon the formatting. My father (62) was diagnosed this past January with terminal brain-cancer: Glioblastoma (GBM). He passed in July. Throughout the process, I was his caregiver and acting primary power of attorney. His competency and independence spiraled so quickly that he never made it back home - 3 hospitals, 1 acute rehab, 1 sub-acute rehab, and assisted living (where hospice was enacted). I'm struggling not only with the loss of my father, but the disappointment I feel for the lack of support given to me by my family. I have one older brother, a mother who has long been divorced to my father, and handful of aunts/uncles/cousins in the area.

    I feel like I had to grow to take care of an impossible situation. I leaned hard on therapy, friends, and the flexibility of my work to give my dad the care and respect he deserved. I don't feel like my family was able or willing to do the same. Yesterday I met up with an uncle, aunt and my brother. I told them I felt neglected this year and had expected more fairness given this conglomeration of crises. I got the results I expected from that. I'm trying hard to pick the pieces of my life back up, but I'm weighing my familial relationships.
  2. DallasPaige

    DallasPaige New Member

    Death shows you who people really is. You want to believe your family will behave like family but some just show how selfish and petty they are.
  3. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    My siblings and I basically took care of our mother, six of us. Me and one brother retired so we spent the most time. There were equal sacrifices so we were blessed. I do realize all families r not alike. Sorry for what you endured. The loss is great enough.