Ex-husband (married 20 yrs, divorced 2 yrs) killed in car crash in July. It's like losing him again.

When I got the news, my first worry was for our son, who is in college. I thought it would be easier for me, since I had lost him and grieved him when we got divorced. I was wrong. It has been like losing him all over again and all the feelings of betrayal and rejection that I had then are coming back with the memories of our life together. It is complicated, and hard to find someone in a similar situation who can relate. Anyone out there?