Hi My husband died 2 weeks ago. We had been married for nearly 54 years. He was my soulmate, my best friend and my rock. He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and had been on treatment for many years. He was also diabetic and this had caused gastroparesis, which caused part of his stomach to not work properly. This had worsened and over the past 2 years he ate less and less. Eventually taken into hospital, where he spent the last 3 months of his life. He was fed by PICC line, but due to his weakened state, this then affected his heart. Sadly on 26th April 2024 he had a massive heart attack. The hospital phoned me to tell me the news. I was in a state of shock for a few days. As I live in France, the law is that after a death, you have 6 days to hold the funeral. So everything happened in a rush. I have a strong faith in the soul moving on after the body has died, and have been waiting for a sign from my husband, but I have felt nothing. I have asked him for a sign that he is okay, but I am not feeling anything. Is this because it is early days? My grief hits me at odd times throughout the day and I try to keep busy - but I can find no comfort.
Persevere in your faith and have patience. The Bible addresses the transition from natural life to spiritual life in many places. For example, 1 Corinthians 15: 44-45 tells us that the body "is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. So also it is written, the first man Adam became a living soul. The last Adam became a life-giving spirit." The Bible also directs us to make our requests such as yours known to God through prayer. Philippians 4:6 and Matthew 6:6 both address the powerful role of prayer and the hopeful expectations of God's response to prayer. Philippians 4:6 also stresses the need for patience and to not be anxious. I believe that persistence in prayers and reliance on your strong faith will eventually result in the sign from your husband that you long for. I prayed consistently and earnestly before the sign that I sought from my beloved wife was revealed to me. It will probably take longer than you wish and may come to you in a way completely unexpected, but persistence is a small price to pay for the reward that you seek.
During this early stage the shock and pain of your tremendous loss are overwhelming. Devastating. You were a caregiver, as was I. I think somewhere inside of us we begin grieving at the first sign of illness. It is a long, spiritually challenging road. I have read on other groups how people see signs from their spouses immediately and often after their passing. This has not happened for me. I am a Christian and believe that our spouses are now spiritual forms, perhaps without tangible bodies, but in any case, they are the same person we knew and loved. We cannot know the divine Mystery of this life, we can only turn to our Faith in the deepest way possible to strengthen our understanding of what lies beyond this life. Our spouses are with us. How and in what form I don't know, but they are tied to your soul and therefore can't be far off. Keep your heart open to signs. They will come when the time is right. Many blessings to you, and prayers.
Hello dear one, I want to validate how strong you are becoming. As I've followed your threads here I've read/seen your progression, your fortitude against our combined foe of Grief. I still enjoy my connection with Edward. I feel his presence and 'hear' him most often while working in the garden. Right now I'm sort of two steps forward, one step back... Last August, the very day I returned from spreading Ed's ashes in northern California, I received a concerning health test result. Since that day I've undergone the whole battery of testing, finding a couple of issues that could be life threatening. I'm a two-time cancer survivor and therefore have no fear of death, but like most of us just not looking forward to the process. Whatever the outcome, I just look forward to being with Edward again. I wonder sometimes if God didn't use this situation to help distract me a bit from from my first dreadful, awful first year without him here on Earth? It has definitely impacted my trajectory of grief, for good and bad I suppose. Year number two already feels so different - not better - just able to breathe a bit more deeply. Blessings, hugs, and love sent your way. And your little dog too... hee hee ~ Michael
Vanessa, I'm so sorry for your tremendous, life-changing loss. Try to lean into those things that have provided comfort and fortitude at other times in your life when you were devastated as well (church, family, friends). If you don't have any of those things to help you, just know in your heart that you are a Child of God first and foremost. He holds the hands and hearts of both you and your husband. Blessing for the journey. ~ Michael
Michael, I was upset to read that you may have several life-threatening health issues. You know that Edward has his arms around you and will be with you every step of the way. Your love for him is your treasure, you radiate that love for him off these pages, it's that palpable and Godly. I will pray for you. Part of me, the part that longs to join David right now, wants you to find peace with Edward, in Edward's arms in Heaven. But I have to respect that we have an Appointed Hour with God, and we can only wait and trust it, trust it to come before our pain destroys us. I think of widows/widowers in Victorian times who after the death of their spouse retired to their bedroom for the rest of their lives, openly calling for death to take them. That is far more natural to me than what our culture demands of us today; "progress", "work through", "move on". This does not work for me. But I know that you are probably younger than I am and so have the responsibility of keeping your heart, mind and soul anchored to this corporeal life. Cancer is such a varied beast, and we have a choice every step of the way as to how we treat it. You will know what to do because your intuitive and empathic nature will make it clear. Again, I will pray for you, Michael. You are a dear soul.
Thank y0u dear for your kind and caring words. You are so very thoughtful. I'm going to be 60 this year, if my health was optimum I'd still be considered 'healthy'. I'm with you as to the social push to "progress", "work through","move on" - my only ability right now is to slowly adapt. I don't ever think I could be devoted to another, so I'm making friends with being alone/solitude Peace be with you. ~Michael
Michael, something came to me this morning; The phrase "it is written in the stars". Every single moment- micro-second, event, experience- is written in the stars. I watched podcasts by eminent astrophysicists, biologists, etc. who all have now come to the same conclusion- we live in an immutable, absolutely perfect mosaic designed by God. This may challenge our concept of Free Will, but it may not. God Bless you.
I kept half of Ed's ashes here at home with me in this urn. One beautiful picture of the Cosmos. It is written in the Stars. I sure miss him. ~ Michael
So very beautiful, Michael. I think we keep being led to Christ by experiencing, suffering, wondering and being in awe of the Love that is now the focus of our lives. I ask myself why it took death to make me realize that there is nothing else that matters in the Universe but Love. Nothing. Maybe that's the point of suffering. To rip our hearts wide open so that we are forced to transcend, to see with new eyes the true meaning of Life. In God's time.
Ed would always say, "humans all have to get cracked somehow in order to let the Light in". I agree. ~ Michael
