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Does it ever get easier?

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Bri, Aug 13, 2018.

  1. Bri

    Bri New Member

    I feel like I'm having more bad days than good days. I lost my best friend 2.4.16 and then lost the love of my life and father of my son 3.6.18. I don't remember how to be me without them.
     
    Honey likes this.
  2. Honey

    Honey New Member

    Dear Bri,
    I'm sorry for your losses and totally understand the pain. I have lost several family members since 2009. I try my best to focus on those who are here. I'm working on being grateful for something everyday (some days are harder than others. Even if it's the sunset... I try to find one thing and focus on it. Losing your son's father must be extremely difficult. I haven't lost a significant other to death but I did lose my eldest daughter. I have 2 other children and sometimes the hardest thing I do is staying strong for them and being there emotionally is difficult. I found peace with focusing on little things. I hope this helps.

    Hugs
     
  3. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    It does get easier and the pain is not as acute. But and there is always a but it takes time. I remember two days after 9/11, I just started bawling after listening to a news report. I did not know anyone who died in the attack. However in the previous two years, I had lost my sister (3/18/99) at age 37, my dad (1/21/00) at age 89 and husband (5/21/00) at age 52. I discovered their bodies in my home though my husband was not quite dead. I became hyper sensitive to death. It took years of grief work, esp. over my husband, to not get a daily dread feeling. Therapy helps greatly. Then on June 30, 2018 my partner of 18 years suffered a deadly cardiac arrest right in front of me. He had the kind of arrest hardly anyone survives. I dread going through the process again but then what choice is there? The thing is, people going through grief can intellectually know what to do. But your emotions are a different matter. There is little way of predicting them and you just have to go with the flow. There are no easy way outs. Just know you will get through. You will be a different person after you emerge fron the grief process. Superficial people will annoy you and strike you as immature. Also try to be patient with people who offer you advice and who they themselves have never suffered a close family loss.