Death and divorce out of the blue

Hi,
I am from Germany and was looking for a place zu weep about my situation.. I had a really close connection to my dad, me being an only child. He got sick last year in august with heart and cancer at once and passed away really quick on March this year. It was heartbreaking. I never thought I could live without him, even me being 39 now. My mom and me never had the same kind of relationship and no other family.
I had been with my boyfriend for 8 year, married 1,5. he was always the nicest, warmest perfect husband and cared for my father. We had few fights, a lot of shared hobbies, friends, told each other how much we loved us, you know.. perfect relationship. And 3 months after my dad died he suddenly told me he is unhappy with his life (job and City we live in) and wants a clean cut abroad again, without me. He loves me, will always love me, perfect relationship it was for him, but he needs to be free. 1,5 h after marriage (his idea). I felt like dumbfounded. I can’t believe it. Where did this come from? Midlife crisis? He is 33!
i can’t concentrate on my fathers grieve because the divorce hurts me soo much. Last week I couldn’t sleep or eat and turned myself in the psychiatric ward, because I thought about harming myself. I never did before. I just don’t have any energy left. While my father did, everyone told me „you have your Husband“ and I thought so too. I feel betrayed, sad, without any energy…
Thank you for listening

 

First I'm sorry for your loss. Then I'm sorry you gave to mourn and deal with the problems in your marriage.

 

So sorry to hear about your devastating losses. Your feelings are completely understandable. Sometimes when we come to the end of our rope, we begin to realize that nothing in this life is forever. The people we are attached to and depend on can let us down, but God never will. He is a sure rock in this shaking world. He is the only thing we can be truly sure of.
The psalms in the bible are comforting and sometimes express our exact feelings.
Read them and find strength and comfort in a never-changing God.
We care about you.
Chris

 

Wow, what a loss. I hate this happened for you.

What has occurred to me recently is not just the loss of the person(s) is the loss of purpose. Life and purpose was wrapped around them. It's not possible in a short time to replace that much purpose. It will take time and hopefully the right people or something other than a person to help reestablish your purpose.

Now I can better understand why people have pets.

 

I am sorry for your losses. Walking through grief is maybe one of the hardest things we have to do in life, because it involves accepting that this awful thing has happened to us. We never thought we would be the one facing this kind of thing. Sometimes the only thing holding us up is the great love of God for us.
May you find strength and purpose in your life again.
Chris

 

It's tough as you likely know.

What is currently grieving me are impacts to my children from a divorce that began over seventeen years ago. The oldest three children seem successful. The youngest two, who were in middle school are not doing well. When I learn that one of them has a severe setback or a problem it hits me very hard.

The Purpose Driven Life was a good book which I tried to live. However, if a significant portion of your purpose in life goes away then life becomes very hard.

 

I do know it is very tough.
Our children can weigh on our hearts like nothing else can.
When you purpose goes away, as you said, then you must help yourself find a new purpose. No purpose is greater or able to bring you more in life than developing a close relationship with Jesus Christ. His love knows no bounds and his mercy is from everlasting to everlasting. He is good and kind. He can bring strength and stability into a shaken life after the loss of someone dear to us. He has been my lifeline after the suicide of our 28 year old son. My recovery was slow and long but I just kept waiting on God to help me because I knew no one else really could. And I knew He would because the Bible tells me he loves me enough that He was willing to give his life for me. If you can find it within yourself to reach out to God and tell him all the terrible things you are dealing with, he will help you because he loves you and wants to help you get through this very difficult time in your life.
We care about you and want the best for you and your children.
Please stay in contact here with people who understand all the hard things one must go through as we walk this grief walk.
Love,
Chris

 

Chris,

Thank you. If it wasn't for faith in Jesus, I couldn't imagine how much harder this would have been. I've never felt so powerless in my life and just have to give it up to God.

 

I agree that is the best solution. The scriptures say, "Cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
We sometimes think we are in control of most everything,, but when a tragedy like this happens, we realize we really are in control of very little in our lives.
God loves us and cares about what happens to us, so giving it up to God is the best thing to do and we know we can trust Him. His plans for us are good.
Chris