Lost two brothers at same time to gun violence a couple of weeks ago. Never felt this type of pain before. It's not just a pain for my loss but also a pain for them, knowing how much they wanted to live and the fear and agony they must've felt seeing their deaths and also how each died: a bullet ripping one brother's heart apart and a bullet piercing the brain and temple of the other brother. I'm haunted and tortured and half my soul has died alongside them. I don't know how to exist and be ok at same time. I loved my brothers. I would trade my life if I could do they could continue living. But I don't have that ability. It hurts really bad.