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Accepting death - stuck in denial

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by NaSam, Apr 26, 2022.

  1. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Rose, thank you so much for responding to
    me. It means a lot. I can't imagine what I'd
    do without my friends , like you, on GIC.
    When Linda died, the song, You've Got a
    Friend, sung by James Taylor, was played
    at her small funeral. We all cried. Another
    song that gets me, is Ain't No Sunshine,
    by the late Bill Withers. I'm glad you have
    summer temps, but I understand your
    daily pain of wishing C were here to
    enjoy these days with you. I try not to
    feel guilty when I'm enjoying walking
    by the ocean on a sunny day. For me,
    walking & seeing friends, lifts my
    spirits. But, I never say, "I'm fine", bc my
    life was changed forever the day Linda
    died. But, I try to be grateful,to God every
    day,for being alive. Lou
     
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  2. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Lou, I hope you are having peaceful days, here has been raining for four days, I have not been able to go outside, when the weather is like this also my spirit feels with so much sadness and my tears returns not having energy to do anything, this loneliness is unbearable, no one to talk or even read TGW threads, I thought yesterday pay attention of how I feel, meditate, draw something, but I just cry and cry, I can't even continue writing....this ups and downs, now I feel angry with Geoff...he is not here but I'm not OK. I hope you don't mind, I need someone to listen. Helena
     
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  3. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Helena, I'm always here for you, as are
    other GW.I'm so sorry you have awful
    weather & can't go outside. That would
    drive me bonkers. We're finally having
    milder days, in the high 50s & 60s. We
    don't really have summer days ( my
    favorite season),until after Memorial
    Day. I went through the anger phase of
    asking why Linda left me so alone in my
    misery. I've been feeling sorry for myself
    lately, and feel old. I cut my leg, right to
    the bone, getting on a bus 2 weeks ago.
    It still hurts, so I take Tylenol. My NP
    gave me a Tetanus shot, and an
    antibiotic. She will monitor me , to see if
    I improve. This sucks. It was unexpected,
    sudden, and I have to live with it for a
    while..........Lou
     
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  4. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Ohh, so sorry you have a bigger problem than me and I'm complaining of my loneliness....this SUCKS BIG TIME! are you at home.. its anybody taking care of you, the cut sounds that it is very deep, we are getting old and alone we are prone to more unexpected accidents I'm afraid here at home to go upstairs or do anything that can cause me to fall down or even cutting myselsef when I cook something to eat, the dog and cat can't do anything and my neighbors are not too close by. You are in my thoughts and sending my best wishes for a prompt recovery. Looks that you're in good medical attention better than here in the South.... Sending you love, peace and virtual hugs. Helena.
     
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  5. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much, Helena. Deb told us
    that the medical care in S.C. is not as good
    as in Ma. We have many fine hospitals in
    Boston. Although I live north of Boston,
    on the shore. I have a.branch of one of
    those places, so I don't have to travel to
    the city. I'm starting to go to a rehab
    clinic. The PTs are very kind, and will
    help me with balance issues.I take
    medications , which make me feel
    drowsy &unsteady on my feet ,if I
    stand too long.But when I walk outside,
    & see people, it gives me a lift. Don t be
    sorry about "complaining" about your
    loneliness. I wish you had more people
    who were physically near you, but
    remember that you always have us on
    GIC. I've been discouraged lately. I live
    alone in an apartment, but it's one level.
    When I was home with COVID, after
    being discharged from a hospital, a VNA
    nurse & PT came to my place, to make
    sure it was fall proof,with bars in the
    bathtub. I use the same shower bench that
    Linda used. I feel she's watching over me.
    I keep seeing her birth date when I look
    at my watch. As Tom Zuba writes, I pay
    attention to a sign like that, and it makes
    me smile. Lou
     
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