Today is exactly a year since I last saw my Dad, and the pain feels especially raw. I moved to a different country years ago to pursue my career, but I visited home often. My family has always been very close, we all have a great relationship and I knew I always had a place to go if I needed anything. Last February I visited my parents again, and we had a good time together, as always. I spent a lot of time with my parents laughing and telling stories. On the last day of my trip, my Dad drove me to the airport. He gave me one of his characteristic bear hugs and told me to take care of myself. Then the pandemic came, and travelling home was no longer possible. I spoke to my family often, but knew it would be a while before I could go back. At the end of August 2020, my Dad unexpectedly had a heart failure and died. My hero was gone. I was able to make it back for the funeral, and to be there for the rest of my family. We can never move on but we are trying to move forwards. Some days I feel like I'm doing okay and coping, but other days the pain is too much. And today I can't stop thinking about our last hug one year ago, and how I'll never hug him again. I'm grateful for the time we had together, but knowing it's over hurts so much.
I also lost my father about a year ago unexpectedly. It’s painful and I think about him every day. I wish I could have one more of his big hugs. And he always knew what to say to make me feel better. I am so grateful that I had the privilege to be his daughter. I was very lucky that my father was a great man. I’m sure you feel the same way about your father.
Just reading this I feel so much of what you have said. I lost my dad in July, only made it back to the funeral due to COVID. And the same as you some days I'm OK and others I'm really not. Today....night so much. I feel guilty for not being OK as I have so much to be grateful for including a new son (born the day after dad passed). Its just feels so so relentless at times it takes my breath away. I often say to myself that losing a parent is a rite of passage as it shouldn't be the other way around....but it doesnt make it any easier. I hope you're doing OK! Reading all the messages on here is overwhelming....we're certainly not alone! X
