I was searching on the internet for some type of encouragement to help and came across this website. I lost my husband of 28 years in a Tragic car accident in March. A box truck driven by someone from out of state who didn’t have experience driving in snow lost control and went in front of my husband’s vehicle killing him instantly. Truck driver walked away. I still have a lot of anger about the situation even though I know it was an accident. My husband was a firefighter/paramedic for over 25 years, a public servant to the community. We have one son who is 26. I only have my son who is just starting his life/career in law enforcement and my elderly parents who suffer from some dementia. My son stays in contact every day but his schedule with a. New job makes it difficult for him. I try not to burden him with my everyday crying spells. I have a friend who usually checks on me every day but she has her own demons she deals with. She lost a daughter 3 years ago in a car accident, lost her father a month before that, ironically both of which my husband responded to those calls. Now her mom has Alzheimer’s and she deals with that everyday. She doesn’t have enough time in the door long convos with me. I traveled alone for work last week and realized there was really no one to make sure I got home or checking on me like my husband would have. Really missing him. Our friends were really his friends. The fire station was what our lives revolved around for the most part. I went from. A lot of people around to the point where everyone forgets about you. When anyone sees you on occasion and see you smile and “doing well” no one realizes the pain and tears just below the surface that you hide to the world. I’ve learned People who have never gone through such a loss really have no way to understand it, prior to March I was one of them.