Yesterday marked 7 months since the day I lost my sweet love Peggy. The real reason for this post tho is yesterday was the first day ever that I've been able to tell someone the story of how that day and the one after went without breaking down and crying. Progress! Baby steps but none the less progress. Yay for me!
Yes, Yay for you! That is progress. People don’t realize just how hard every single thing is. People here do, I mean in our daily lives. And you finish the conversation and realize, hey I did that without tears. Nice. I don’t know if I could verbally tell the story and not break down, I haven’t run into anyone who doesn’t know in a very long time. I know a business man who we did business with stopped while I was outside and offered condolences, and offered help plowing my driveway, that conversation made me cry. Here’s to baby steps! Robin
Amen to progress! Your post gives me hope. It's hard staying strong all the time. Its rough not just breaking down. So to no that it's getting better and you dont break down is awesome. I can talk about my loss some days without crying then the next I cant even think bout it without teary eyes. It does get better for us though. I'm praying it continues to get better for you.
I’m sorry! I know how hard it is as another month passes. I’m thinking of you today. Know you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. ❤️ ❤️
So true Liley, can't believe it's been 7 months and at the same time like you said just yesterday. I still expect to see him walk in the door. It's beautiful out today, I just finished eating dinner out on the deck. He came up with the design, we didn't spend too much time out on them. Funny thing about Chicago, it's either too hot or cold. June is a sweet spot. I recalled how happy and proud of those decks he was.
Same with our deck. We started it together last April of 2019. All through the summer I had to finish it. It was soooo hot but after a full week of working, I'd be up early and working on it all day. I wanted it finished so we could both enjoy it. Which we did, a little. Jerry couldn't be out in the heat long because of his stroke so we enjoyed it more in Nov and Dec....but still, not enough. Never enough....
How special, having something designed or made together such as your decks. I’m sure there has been some bitter sweet feelings as you sit on your decks. But believe me, in time the pictures in your head of creating this space to sit and enjoy, they will eventually make you smile. I bet you can picture your husbands working on the deck or designing it. I know you’d rather have your husbands with you and enjoying the warm air together, but that will become a cherished memory. Recently my daughter and I built a fence gate. The one Ron had made was falling apart, I hated to replace it but I had to. I was with him while he made that gate, so as we build it we used his tools and remembered all the steps, I could almost hear him telling me steps along the way. It’s finished, came out beautiful and believe it or not it feels like Ron was there with us making that gate. So many memories, they will eventually in time make you smile. Some memories can make me smile now, and that same memory can make me cry tomorrow. I believe it will happen.
Sounds like they gave us the tools to do these things well on our own..... Another night of not being able to sleep....last night was the same...
Hey how are you? I hate nights like this too. By time I do fall asleep my kids will be waking up. Hopefully we'll have better nice soon. I think it be the night when our minds are heavy that we cant sleep.
