6 months to the hour my father died

I'm glad I found this sight. I live in a rural area and am still unable to find grief counseling. My father died 6 months ago to the hour and it feels like last night. It was a horrible struggle for my dad, that lasted five weeks. No one should have to go through what he did. He had just turned 91 years old. I was so blessed to have had him so long. I understand that. My mom died when she was 44. No age seems appropriate.