2 years out and still struggling

Hi,
I lost my dad, my husband, and my mom in less than a year and a half. Family has pulled away and the two that live nearby are nearly non existent. I’ve done grief share, tried forming community at church but I feel as if there is no hope. I don’t know what to do and after the deaths I developed a rare anemia which wasn’t helpful.
Deb

 

, I am sorry for your losses. I also have lost my mother, my husband, my adult 32-year-old son, he was a sudden loss unexpected and we were so close we could finish each other's sentences and there was so much joy there we would laugh so hard all the time I miss him so much. I am currently caring for my elderly dad who is dying in front of me end of life bedbone and potato leg prostate cancer full care I have no help no support services that's SLE lupus that is active right now and I'm in terrible pain and totally exhausted and I feel like I'm losing my mind I barely sleep he also has dementia and the only family member left alive is my daughter who is also non-existent but 5 minutes away. I am with a counselor but it does not seem to help with the grief and loneliness I turned to online because I really can't get out much I have nobody to watch my dad very often since private services are quite expensive. The only thing that has got me through this is my faith. I won't lie to you my faith been tested to the limits , however, I have never lost it completely thank God I always feel God's presence most of the time with me through all of this. Its the times when I haven't felt it that it gets really bad but I realize that's my fault when I start to blame God or the why me or why them rants happen. I am new here my name is Lisa nice to meet you Deb. I'm trying to navigate this site for the first time I hope this even gets posted to you. I will pray for you I hope I can find this thread again I'm not so great with this its my first time using something like this online.

 

Oh my God the typos so sorry I did not say potato like I said amputee leg and he is not bedbone but is bed bound.. I was using voice text because of pain in my fingers I'm so sorry

 

Hi Dovey,
It’s ok I understand. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through! If someone told me 3 yrs ago I’d be here now I’d tell them they are crazy. I’m pretty isolated as well. Someone told me God has me in His protective custody. I wished my sons were more supportive and wish your daughter was as well. It’s hard doing this alone. But God…still it’s hard. How are you today? I see your in MA. I lived there for 16 yrs.

 

I am so sorry for the loss you all have experienced. Yes, it is so hard. It will take work to get through this walk of grief.
Here is a verse I hope will encourage you to continue to hang on to the hand of the LORD. "
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”